Happiness in Life

This weekend I was in IIMB for inauguration for the course. I happened to attend two great lectures by two eminent perons. One was none other than Mr. Harsh Manglik, Chairman Execevite Comittee, NASSCOM. It has already been covered well in the blog of one of seniors.

www.shamitb.blogspot.com/2010/05/harsh-manglik-chairman-nasscom.html

The other was a class lecture by Mr. Sanjeev Nanda, an IIMC alumus (92 batch) ,working at a key position in a reputed Bank.

The class started with a very relevant question:
What is that we all want in life and which is an end in itself.
For example, if we say that it is love/power/prestigious job , we want them for some other reason and those in turn for some other. The class came to a conclusion that basically we all are looking for happiness in life.

The million dollar question is how do we achieve happiness in life?
The answer which comes to our mind are like
1) good girl friend/boyfriend/spouse
2) lot of money
3) big house
4) high end car
and so on...
However, according to latest study from "Positive Psychology" none of this necessarily leads to happiness. In an experiment, lottery winners of significantly high amount in US were studied and found that even though they witnessed a temporary increase in happiness level for a brief period, after one-two month their happiness level came back to same or below levels.

Then what is it that controls happiness or unhappiness.
Research and our old mythology suggests there are three factors at play:
1) "Raga" i.e. Attachment/craving (for something/someone)
2) "Dvesha: i.e. Aversion (towards others)
3) "Awidya" i.e. Ignorance
It is hard to remember any occasion when we were not unhappy due to one or more of these factors.
We all have cravings for a lot of things and for dear ones which might lead to unhappiness if we don't get them or if we lose them. Let us distinguish between love and attachment which are always considered as "indicators" for each other.
Buddhism spirituality states that if we are on a path that leads to a path/situation that if we will be devastated if we lose/not get something, we are probably following the wrong path. The right path leads to equanimity of mind by "acceptance" with the reality. It helps us realise that fear of the outcome should never bother after we have put all our efforts especially in situation in which we have little or no control. Like the company not doing well and hence doing a pay cut even though we have been performing well.
Acceptance can be explained by an example that when looking at a b'ful early sunrise from a hilltop, we are blissfully happy and our subconscious mind never thinks/expects if the mountains would have been better in this shape/colour, sun little more big/colourful since it is in complete acceptance. Similar reasoning if applied to day to day life situations can bring equanimity of mind and hence avoid unhappiness in which we have very little control of the outcome or for mitigation.

The second factor "Dvesha" is very much related to the first factor. the cravings for something which someone else has achieved lead to unhappiness. In a survey done by Harvard, people were asked to choose one of the two options
1) a job with 50,000$ when people around are paid 45,000$
2) same job with 70,000$ when people around are getting paid 85,000$

Shockingly, people opted for first offer which shows how much "dvesha" is in play in our subconscious mind.

The third factor is ignorance about the real nature of universe, the "oneness" of universe.
The non-local nature of universe was pointed out by Einstein in EPR Paradox thought experiment.
The electron-positron pair having same spins in opposite direction were kept in different planets.
Any change in spin of electron cause a instantaneous change in positron and vice verse. According to quantum theory, even the fastest mode of communication i.e. light will take a finite amount of time. Hence universe is connected to ways not known to us and we all are part of it.

The moment we think we start thinking about "self", unhappiness starts caving in. Suppose, I get a bonus of 30% this year. i am at the top of this world. Suddenly, during informal coffee break, I realise that my colleague has got 80% bonus, I feel like sky has fallen on me. If he was my brother, I would have felt happy rather than being sad. If we think that we are part of the same "one" universe connected to each other by numerous forces , we never will get into such unhappy moments.

To summarise, we need to transcend these three factors to attain perpetual happy state. However, doing that is not so easy as it might sound. The training of the subconscious mind take a lot of effort and diligent practise of meditation might be very useful here.

Let happiness reach every soul in this universe!!

Two States

I am not an avid reader but I read all of Chetan Bhagat's books (liked first and last one particularly the most). It looks like many youths (who are not regular readers) are also flocking to the book stores or to the footpath/signal (to get pirated copies) or asking their "reader" friends for borrowing the latest book "Two states".



The sale of "Two states" has exceeded newspaper sales since the launch (Oct-2009).!!
The number of prints done for this book was unheard in Indian Publishing industry!!

Well, why did I(and so many youths) like it? I guess the major reason is that core of the story is about the unrelenting fight even in toughest times (without losing hope) and still coming out in flying colours. Another major theme is love being the highest priority among any other thing in life (and yes it is definitely worth it). "Slumdog Millionaires" had similar underlying themes.

Love is the best feeling in this planet which enters your life without knocking and does not know any of the society's bounds of wealth,place,colour,caste,religion or sometimes even age...After death, it is the best leveller!!!!
However, it should not be confused with infatuation or the one which happens after checking the status/bank balance or even so called "love at first sight" etc etc.



Chetan's ability to connect with the readers is also the most important reason. Inside the "masala" story, lies the real story which touches our heart as every reader finds bits of story quite similar to the one he has seen aound or experiencing.


The book is about a love story between a Punjabi boy and Tamil girl who "fight" with their destiny to convince their parents. Even though it is full of " bolywood masala", the inspiration is from Chetan's life itself who is from Delhi and between his wife Anusha (clasmate in IIM-A) hailing from Tamil Nadu.


The story created by God is always way ahead than any other story "imagined" by any story writer. I guess it is the major reason for the fact that I liked "Five Point Someone" and The "Two States" pretty much.



In the modern India after the liberalisation in 90s and increase in MNCs , love marriages have become quite common and working boys and girls are seeking their soul mates in college/work place (and sometimes even in school). But, this story is no ordinary story. There are ups and downs, there is drama, there is love, there is struggle and ultimately a happy ending... A perfect bolywood movie!!!

I wish every love story in this word had a perfect ending like that.

Life is an illusion?

While I am looking outside my balcony in a cool December evening, I ask myself the same question. Or to be more precise, Did I take the best out of my life while getting to achieve "my destiny"?
I strongly believe that if you you keep your conscience clear (and listen to it of course), it always guides you to "your destiny" and helps you choose the correct path in the crossroads.

Every time you look at your life, it changes.
Every aspect of our life is dynamic; our goals, our priorities, perception of an ideal life...they all keep changing. Our perceptions of ourselves, of those around us and the events and situations in our lives and the rest of the world are shaped primarily by our inputs and experiences to this point in our lives.

When I was a kid, for me a getting into IIT was like "the" only dream, only priority, only ideal life, only purpose...
Now I feel, life is like a CAT paper: where you got to do fairly well in all the sections and if you miss the cutoff in one section, it is as good as nothing.

Having a good education and respectable job is like "just" clearing the quantitative ability section .Life is full of myriad number of sections whose weightage keeps on changing.

Another important section is "giving back". While 99.999...% of us do not have the time and money to become philanthropist like Bill Gates neither the courage to become a politician to decieve the people while claiming to do the contrary, we can start the "giving back" act with smile, care , love, respect, help etc to persons who are around us and especially the ones without whom we would have never what we are now i.e. our parents, spouse, kids, friends, colleagues etc.... longer the list, better you have fared well in life.

One of the major section of life with high weightage is to find the right soul mate .
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about it.
Marriage (and job in campus) are two things which just "happen" . They affect the rest of your life more than anything else , yet you have almost no control. Many times it is neither justified nor transparent.

At this point of life, I am certain about two things:
1) Percption about life and everything related to life keeps changing. The best way is to identify "qustions with heigh weightage " and do them as best you can.
2) Our individual perceptions of life are the foundations for our personal reality.