Happiness in Life

This weekend I was in IIMB for inauguration for the course. I happened to attend two great lectures by two eminent perons. One was none other than Mr. Harsh Manglik, Chairman Execevite Comittee, NASSCOM. It has already been covered well in the blog of one of seniors.

www.shamitb.blogspot.com/2010/05/harsh-manglik-chairman-nasscom.html

The other was a class lecture by Mr. Sanjeev Nanda, an IIMC alumus (92 batch) ,working at a key position in a reputed Bank.

The class started with a very relevant question:
What is that we all want in life and which is an end in itself.
For example, if we say that it is love/power/prestigious job , we want them for some other reason and those in turn for some other. The class came to a conclusion that basically we all are looking for happiness in life.

The million dollar question is how do we achieve happiness in life?
The answer which comes to our mind are like
1) good girl friend/boyfriend/spouse
2) lot of money
3) big house
4) high end car
and so on...
However, according to latest study from "Positive Psychology" none of this necessarily leads to happiness. In an experiment, lottery winners of significantly high amount in US were studied and found that even though they witnessed a temporary increase in happiness level for a brief period, after one-two month their happiness level came back to same or below levels.

Then what is it that controls happiness or unhappiness.
Research and our old mythology suggests there are three factors at play:
1) "Raga" i.e. Attachment/craving (for something/someone)
2) "Dvesha: i.e. Aversion (towards others)
3) "Awidya" i.e. Ignorance
It is hard to remember any occasion when we were not unhappy due to one or more of these factors.
We all have cravings for a lot of things and for dear ones which might lead to unhappiness if we don't get them or if we lose them. Let us distinguish between love and attachment which are always considered as "indicators" for each other.
Buddhism spirituality states that if we are on a path that leads to a path/situation that if we will be devastated if we lose/not get something, we are probably following the wrong path. The right path leads to equanimity of mind by "acceptance" with the reality. It helps us realise that fear of the outcome should never bother after we have put all our efforts especially in situation in which we have little or no control. Like the company not doing well and hence doing a pay cut even though we have been performing well.
Acceptance can be explained by an example that when looking at a b'ful early sunrise from a hilltop, we are blissfully happy and our subconscious mind never thinks/expects if the mountains would have been better in this shape/colour, sun little more big/colourful since it is in complete acceptance. Similar reasoning if applied to day to day life situations can bring equanimity of mind and hence avoid unhappiness in which we have very little control of the outcome or for mitigation.

The second factor "Dvesha" is very much related to the first factor. the cravings for something which someone else has achieved lead to unhappiness. In a survey done by Harvard, people were asked to choose one of the two options
1) a job with 50,000$ when people around are paid 45,000$
2) same job with 70,000$ when people around are getting paid 85,000$

Shockingly, people opted for first offer which shows how much "dvesha" is in play in our subconscious mind.

The third factor is ignorance about the real nature of universe, the "oneness" of universe.
The non-local nature of universe was pointed out by Einstein in EPR Paradox thought experiment.
The electron-positron pair having same spins in opposite direction were kept in different planets.
Any change in spin of electron cause a instantaneous change in positron and vice verse. According to quantum theory, even the fastest mode of communication i.e. light will take a finite amount of time. Hence universe is connected to ways not known to us and we all are part of it.

The moment we think we start thinking about "self", unhappiness starts caving in. Suppose, I get a bonus of 30% this year. i am at the top of this world. Suddenly, during informal coffee break, I realise that my colleague has got 80% bonus, I feel like sky has fallen on me. If he was my brother, I would have felt happy rather than being sad. If we think that we are part of the same "one" universe connected to each other by numerous forces , we never will get into such unhappy moments.

To summarise, we need to transcend these three factors to attain perpetual happy state. However, doing that is not so easy as it might sound. The training of the subconscious mind take a lot of effort and diligent practise of meditation might be very useful here.

Let happiness reach every soul in this universe!!